“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.†Jeremiah – 29:13
My first encounter with Jesus
When I was 27 years old, and six months pregnant with our second child, I stood in our kitchen and lovingly watched our one-year-old daughter play as I anticipated the birth of our second child. As I stood there, love for my children consumed me. In that moment, I cried out to God with all of my heart and said, “God, I know you are someone, but I don’t know who you are. What is your name?†In that moment God spoke to me and said, “Jesus.†I opened my eyes in disbelief and thought I had misunderstood Him. I quickly closed my eyes again, and with all my heart I cried out to God once more, “God, I love my children with all my heart and I want to teach them the truth but I don’t know what that is, what is your name?†Again, He answered me, “Kristin, my name is Jesus.†I opened my eyes after hearing His name for the second time and I felt incredibly perplexed. Standing there I thought to myself, “Jesus died 2000 years ago, how is a dead guy talking to me?†Furthermore, “WHY is Jesus of all people talking to ME? I am certainly NOT perfect enough for Him!â€
27 years without Him
Growing up I heard the name Jesus once in my hometown of Sun Valley, Idaho. From the outside looking in, I had always believed the enemy's lies that Jesus only loved perfect people. At that time, I also believed that Christians simply used the Bible as a crutch and that they were not up to date with what I thought was the "real truth." That day, I expected anyone else but Jesus to answer me. In fact, for 27 years I was the queen of persecuting Christians. I often laughed at them for having a "relationship with a dead guy†and I always felt superior to them in wisdom and knowledge of “the truth.â€
Having a skewed view of Jesus, I flippantly replied to Him that day and said, “Okay Jesus, I guess I will start by looking into you since you are the only one speaking to me right now.†That day I fully intended to research other "gods" after looking into Jesus for only a day or two. I had no idea that within those 48 hours, Jesus, through His mighty Holy Spirit, would capture my heart and change my life forever.
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My dear friend in Christ, do not lose your faith in the Lord Jesus. He IS who He says He is. There is but ONE GOD, ONE NAME, and ONE SAVIOR and His name IS JESUS. We are only saved by our faith in Him through God’s grace. Do NOT lose your faith. Of course our faith will be tested and of course the devil will do everything in his power to destroy our path to salvation but I plead with you to not let this happen. Yes, the above story is part of my testimony but there is more.
Here is the rest…
As a child, I endured a lot of abuse in every form. Many nights I cried myself to sleep and many of those nights, my heart would cry out for a place where such terrible things never happened; a place of righteousness and goodness. As my broken heart would long for these things a presence of complete peace would enter my room and wash over me. Many times, I couldn’t fall asleep until this presence came.
As I grew up, this presence continued to come, and when I would ask a question this presence would always point to Jesus. As a result, my heart began to understand Jesus is the standard of perfection. It wasn’t until I was 27 and pregnant with my second child that I cried out and begged this presence to tell me his or her name so that I could teach my children TRUTH. That’s when Jesus fully revealed Himself to me. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.” This is my testimony. I had never heard of the Trinity nor the Holy Spirit when Jesus revealed Himself to me so I was terribly confused about what was happening and how it was happening.
Growing up, Christmas was only about Santa and Easter was only about the Easter bunny. I had no idea the real reason for celebrating either of those holidays. After encountering Jesus, the next 48 hours were filled with a lot of mind-blowing moments. The Lord brought me to a book called, “The Boy Who Met Jesus” which is a true story of a little boy in Africa who knew nothing about Jesus but encountered Him, and the Lord taught him the Bible and led him to help many people in Africa. After reading this book my heart realized that JESUS IS ALIVE and that Easter is about His RESURRECTION!!!
My dear friend, do not let the troubles and darkness of this world destroy your faith in the Lord Jesus. Just because you do not feel Him, doesn’t mean He isn’t there. There are times when I haven’t felt Him too and during those times I rely upon His Word to get me through.
I know this walk is hard. I know at times it’s easy to feel like giving up. But please don’t. Fight the good fight and keep the faith.
God tells us that in the end times, many will fall away from the faith…please do not be one of them. He is returning for His children, probably much sooner than any of us realize and we must stay on the straight and narrow path to His kingdom. I will be praying for you, my friend. Seek Him above all else and everything else will fall into place.
Thank you for reaching out to me.
With Love,
Kristin
Well Kathrine, though your message is worth believing, I still find it challenging to do do. I’ve been a nominal christian for over 19years and by this year I will be 22years. I love to love God but it not working and the most challenging now is believing in His death for me. I find little or no more zeal for the he scripture . Could you imagine, I speak in tongues. I was told and I Believe the Holy Spirit gave it to me but I don’t know the Holy Spirit and now, my faith is dying. I’m scared of after pursuing so much for the truth in years now and, in the latter I break out of it. Do you really encounter Jesus? I too wants to. But you see I’m getting frustrated
Dear Kristin Phalen,
I think your store is very well done..beautiful, in fact. I do hope your store goes viral..everywhere. I love reading about your experiences with JESUS. I, too, had to learn about about Him, and now that I have, my life has never been the same. i am a much better person than I would have been otherwise, and I am much happier too. Keep up the good work. I am sure you are going to be fine since you have so much faith, and you are striving to help others learn about Jesus. It is all very important, and we need more people speaking out about our Savior’s goodness, and that He loves each and every one of us. Here is a little saying that I think everyone should learn. Jesus is not, nor has He ever been judgmental, only loving… Mirror, Mirror on the wall, it does not matter if I am short or tall, if my legs are skinny, or if my hips are wide, it only matters who I am inside. Blue eyes, brown, green, what is most beautiful in me cannot be seen. So when you look at me, please do not judge me by my parts…The most beautiful thing about me is my heart. Thank you so much for your most wonderful messages.
L. Hickey